Thoughts From A Mind

went out to check some stuff at Northpoint. along the way i decided to see if the insurance company already deducted the amount, just like every month. yep, they definitely did it alright. and i can say after that, i’m so fucking broke right now. like “if possible, i don’t wanna go out and stay at home just to save money” kinda broke. that shit to me, is very fucking serious.

but it isn’t entirely the end of the world for me. in a few days, it’s payday. it’s not much, but i’ll still manage. gotta be strict on my spending. i’ll save up eventually. as usual, the first month is always a little difficult if you quit your last job and and didn’t manage to save up while your looking for a new one. unless that is you already have a new job standing by while you wait for the last day of your old job.

fuck it. i suddenly don’t want to think about money now. because my attention now is diverted into something else.

i’m sorta of a skinny guy. skinny/fat jokes don’t really concern me anymore. it used to,  but that was like when i was 14? yup, definitely a time for insecurity for me. but whatever. anyways, why is my attention coming to this topic? let me get into it then.

i got a few “plus size” friends. both males and females. for the males, most of them don’t really care about their weight. or maybe they have yet to openly tell me that they are. but so far, they’re like the most carefree bunch of friends. and extremely happy on a daily basis. that i think is a good thing. despite the weight problems according to the standards of “our society” today.

but what i’m really trying to go for in this diversion of thought, is the female counterpart. not all of them but there are a certain few who behave in a certain way which i find a little confusing.

what sort of behavior you’re wondering? well it goes to something like this. if you don’t know what “plus size” means, well here’s a straight forward answer..Fat People. there you have it. a very direct answer. ok moving along. sometimes these certain few do let out what they feel about their weight and how they look like online from time to time. it could be on Facebook, their blogs or whatever the medium they choose to use.

the most common behavior from them would be saying stuff like, “oh i’m fat. no guy is gonna like me. they won’t even look at me.” insecurity issues. i get it. but what i don’t get is this. out of all the lump of guys that are out there, eventually 1 will turn up and look beyond the outer features of these “plus size” girls and actually want to fall in love with them because of who they are.

a Cinderella story, awesome right? but here comes the twist. these “plus size” girls actually start to get choosy. like what? what the fuck? are you kidding me? you go on about complaining about weight issues, facial issues and a bunch of other insecurity shits and when there’s actually a genuine nice guy who’s into you, you wanna act all “i wanna have options and i don’t wanna get my heart broken”.

BITCH, GET OVER HERE SO I CAN DO A SWEET CHIN MUSIC ON YOUR FUCKING FACE! then you’ll have a real facial issues. hmm this so goes against my moral code of hitting the ladies. but seriously, some of them despite looking a little round and what not..they actually look kinda nice. i really feel for the guys who are honest in their intent and suddenly get shot down and wonder so much in their head if they ever said anything that offended the girl they were going for.

oooohhh well. i’m gonna do some photoshop. later.